Helping restore your intimate bond

Marriage counseling is an important part of any successful relationship. We will all experience stuck places and moments of disconnect in our significant relationships. The key is knowing how and when to reach for help. There is no reason to have to navigate these painful stuck places alone.

We all need a sense of belonging to a few important others from the cradle to the grave. We are social beings and wired for this sense of belonging and connectedness to important others. When we can’t reach those we emotionally depend on, we panic, and that results in a few behaviors that can create distance and disconnection in intimate relationships. We can often experience feelings of shame around these reactions, but we all experience this when we cannot reach the people that matter most to us. We can reshape these reactions when we understand what is going on and can create a path to healing. That is what marriage counseling from an Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy perspective is all about.

Your connection with your intimate partner is essential to your emotional and even physical wellbeing. Study after study has shown that when we have strong, quality connections with our significant others, we are mentally, physically and emotionally stronger. When our intimate connection is distressed, it affects all other parts of our lives. Marriage counseling can help bring clarity and understanding to what is going on and how to get back into secure connection with one another.

Do you end up fighting about stuff that seems petty on the surface? Of feel like you keep revisiting the same old argument over and over? Have you ever felt alone in your relationship? Do you end up being critical and demanding and escalate because you end up feeling like your partner doesn’t really care and you don’t know how to get him/her to hear you?

Or maybe you feel like no matter how hard you try, no matter what you do, you just can’t get it right with him/her, nothing you do is good enough so you end up shutting down and pulling away, hoping to not ignite another argument.

These are the typical positions partners take when they can’t connect with one another in the ways that once seemed to easy. These reactions and patterns end up making things even worse, and the longer it goes on, the more hopeless it can feel. But there is hope. We now have scientifically based, researched ways of understanding these relational patterns, why and how they occur, how to stop them from spiraling to restore a loving, secure, intimate bond.

Understanding what is underlying these arguments is key to pulling out of these negative patterns that seem to snowball and get worse over time if not adequately addressed. This is where we can help.

Marriage counseling through Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy with a trained professional will help create a safe space to explore painful emotions that underlie your reactions. It will help the two of you understand what is happening, slow down, and calm this seemingly out of control cycle so that you can pull out of it together. It will help the two of you turn to each other from a softer place, alleviate feelings of shame, understand the ways in which your partner is trying to reach you, understand and express your longings and needs,  and navigate these painful experiences to find your way back to bonding and connection with one another.

We are here and ready to help. Contact us today.